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The notion of shy is awarded to someone who is usually antisociable and little demonstrative . It is a feature of the personality that influences behavior and conditions interpersonal relationships, in addition to putting a limit on the social performance of the individual.

Analyzing the term from an etymological perspective, we can say that it comes from the Latin concept thymus, which means fearful. In the dictionary of the Royal Spanish Academy, the concept is expanded, expressing how shy is that shrunk, short-tempered person and who costs a lot be related.

Although it is a term that is usually used daily, it is necessary to clarify that there are two types of shyness: the one expected at certain ages and situations, which do not block the individual, and the chronicle, prevents the person from interacting normally. To overcome it, specialists recommend relaxation techniques, reject irrational ideas, focus on unwanted thoughts and show a conduct convincing.

It is a feeling of helplessness by having to perform a certain action in front of another person, a chronic fear that comes from an absolute distrust of himself and those around him. It manifests as a impression of insecurity and self shame that can be experienced in front of an episode never before crossed and of reach Social. This feeling hinders conversations and approaches in general.

The psychologist Brian G. Gilmartin the concept of shyness loving to describe a specific type of severe chronic shyness. Those who suffer from it become uncomfortable in informal circumstances that involve potential romantic or sexual partners.

Shyness is also linked to the concepts of introversion and extroversion , proposed by the renowned doctor Carl Gustav Jung . This psychiatrist and psychologist, it is said, considered introversion as an attitude based on the focus of interest around the internal processes of the subject, while extroversion is the opposite position. Those who are shy show a predominance of introversion. For Jung , the ideal situation is balance, flexibility to adapt to the moment and the environment.

In shyness there is a splitting of the individual: on the one hand, the observer self; on the other, the actor self. The latter is the one that performs a premeditated action, whose objective is to generate a opinion positive in those who hear it. In this way the individual manages to project in others the concept that he has of himself in an ironic and generally threatening way.

Causes and development of the disorder

The key stage in which shyness appears is between five and seven years of age. At that time it manifests as fear of oneself. Later, during adolescence, it becomes a systematized mechanism; This is because the individual has a greater awareness of himself and begins to act accordingly to get a image favorable among the people with whom it relates. This last stage is essential to define the type of shyness that the person has; It may be normal for a young person who begins to mature and understand more about his environment and his place in the world, or it may be a chronic condition that leads him to isolate himself.

Those parents who do not allow their children to face situations corresponding to their age and overprotect them to avoid frustration, fear or failure, encourage the development of shyness. In the same way, those who force them to make demonstrations in front of the visits or that compare them with their brothers, causing them shame and frustration. Finally, the lack of understanding, feeling ridiculous before the rest (because of teasing or reprimands that harm him deeply) or failing to adapt to the changes typical of the transition from childhood to adolescence, are also factors that facilitate the development of shyness

The importance of parents

Shyness is a disorder which, like many others, can be avoided. For this, it is essential that parents avoid attitudes such as:

* Intolerance: it is essential to talk about what harms or frustrates them with total openness;
* Systematic severity: it is necessary to show flexibility in decisions and accept that mistakes are commented;
* Constant prohibitions: the constant prohibitions encourage introversion and undermine the feeling of freedom;
* Punishments and humiliations: violent challenges or physical aggression, especially in the face of third parties, foster contempt for themselves; It is best to educate with respect and seek the child's understanding of position of the adult without feeling inferior.

It is important, on the other hand, to remind them of all the good things they do; This can be a precious way to help them understand how much they are worth and to believe in themselves. If your parents do not believe in them, how are they expected to do so?

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